She is My Light
by Moonlit Crescendo
Summary: Princess Serenity loved Endymion, but what if her heart also belonged to someone else? And what if their love was forbidden? SerenityxEndymion and SerenityxRudhira Created character. Please read!
1. Prologue: The Final Fight

This story is based on a roleplay SL that I am working on, and it happens to be a drastic change in the Sailormoon series.

I do **not** own Sailormoon, and I am not Naoko Takeuchi...but I wish I was. /

Please read! And enjoy!

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Prologue 

"The Final Fight"

The blade would strike down against a blast of energy that erupted from the energies Kunzite allowed to erupt from his body, the black sword of Rudhira simply slashing it apart. Through the blaze of fire it caused, the sword was dragged along the ground. The Shitennou Kunzite would unsheathe his short sword, but it was too late. The blade crafted sparks as it ran across the ground, slashing through Kunzite's blade and cutting his sword arm to the bone.

No longer was he concerned with the our Shitennou that he had just made seem as whelps and weaklings, but rather Beryl. The hilt of that sword was gripped as the flames engulfing the castle caused the roof behind of him to crash. His path out was blocked, but his foe remained ahead._ I'll die in these flames if it means she lives.._

He continued forward, rushing through the flames in platinum armor with feathers augmenting the look of his armor. That golden sword of Nox was glowing red with runes, erupting an energy force of pure darkness. That was where he seen her: Beryl, perched upon her throne in her own superiority.

As the too locked on, Beryl unleashed a flash of hit him as that sword would rise. He slide back, but the blade held strong against the energy, platinum armor steaming with intense heat. He had left Serenity to attack Beryl and unless he took care of this quick, that fear that gripped at his very soul would only grow stronger. Was she hurt? Or was she dying? …Had she made it out of the range of the Queen's attacks without being harmed? It worried him, and it caused him to fight with a rage unlike any ever seen before. Great wings of red erupted from the back of that armor as he dashed at Beryl. It was his _duty_ in life to protect Serenity; he _had _to. He clenched his hands tightly. By his will alone, he would make sure she would be all right.

He would look at the evil woman who had attacked him so and glare, his hands tightening around his sword. "You'll pay for this, you evil witch." She would laugh at this, her maniacal laughter filling his ears with a sound like nails on a chalkboard—his heart raced at this, knowing that she could kill him if she truly used her full power. But he rose, and began to attack—striking her down. With a flurry of blows that were fueled by pure hatred, blow after blow was desecrating the dark Queen. He had defeated all the Shitennou, he would not stop at the one that brainwashed them. His blows were savage and no longer was the Kingdom cared for. It would fall for all he cared. All that mattered was her.

There was a horrible roar as those red wings grew in size and even the platinum of his visor could not contain the glow of those ruby eyes. The Nox had finally fell her, lowering her to her side before that sword was raised, ready to lop off her head, ceased only by her laughs.

"It's a shame, really," the Queen spat with another devoid laugh. She would glance up at his armor, her nails scratching against the ground as she struggled to stand..

"What is?" he asked with a growl. He had had quite enough of her games, to be honest. And she was getting on his last nerve. "What? Tell me, now!"

She laughed. "It's a shame…that your princess is dead, and you think fighting for her will repent her soul." She would examine her nail, and then point her finger at him. "And it's a shame that you are not strong enough to simply defeat the evil arts of dark magic. You're every bit as powerful as I imagined, but even you have a weakness."

He would feel his heart sink. He hadn't heard anything—not the sound of his heart racing, or the drop of his sword from his limp hands; nor had he heard the last of her sentence. Silence reached his ears after he had heard the first thing she had said. _Dead. She was…dead. No. She couldn't be. Not her. Not … now._

The sword was dropped from his hands. Lowering to his knees as they touched the ground. He would look at the concrete pavement, near the gardens. The … garden. The one they had met at. And there was that stone statue that she had hidden behind. The princess…dead. No. It had to be a mistake. A trick. Wasn't it? An illusion!

"You're…lying!" he spat, narrowing his eyebrows at the Queen. "Stop lying to me! She is alive! I know it!" His hands ground tighten into fists on the ground as she simply laughed. "Your hope annoys me. Your princess, Serenity—was her name?—is dead. The Shitennou killed her after you couldn't kill them, and then you moved onto me. A trick, simply, designed by me to get her alone. The Prince of the Earth couldn't win, and he died as well. But I knew she would die, just as quickly. She was foolish. She said one last word before she died…."

He glared, his hands shaking. She continued. "She said, 'I love you, Rudhira…' Isn't that a shame? Really. To think she could be with you. Pathetic."

"Shut up!" he cried out, slamming his fists onto the ground as it made a clanking sound. His teeth gritted so hard that blood now dropped from his bottom lip. He reached out for his sword to make that last strike, but once his hands gripped the golden blade, she continued that laugh.

"You're dead now. Say goodbye to your life, for it is mine!"

"I'll kill you!" He would scream before an orb of darkness that had been surrounding her was sent into his body, crushing his very bones and flesh. The screams of agony echoed down the hall as he died: "Serenity… Forgive me!"

- - -

Captured by the evil light of the orb, Rudhira found himself dead at the hands of the Queen. On the other side of the kingdom was Serenity and Endymion, clinging to each other in fear as the castle stirred in an evil light that seemed to cause a loud explosion. Serenity held onto Endymion's shoulder, tightly, as he wrapped his cape around her. "It's going to be all right," he reassured her, stroking her hair.

"How romantic," a voice called out from behind them. Endymion turned to face it, and realized it was the Queen… Beryl. "Looks like you've found each other in the right time—or should I say, the wrong time…"

"You evil witch, what have you done to this kingdom?" Endymion asked with a growl. He still held onto Serenity, but he pulled out his sword from its sheath. "You will pay for the terror you've caused!"

"It's foolish to try to win against me." Beryl would walk out onto the edge of the balcony and look out to the stars. "This kingdom will die, just as you two will…" She turned to face them, with a tiny smile. "Just like Rudhira has."

Serenity's head raised from the shoulder of Endymion and looked at her. "What?" She must have misheard her—Rudhira couldn't have been dead. It was all a mistake of her hearing. Wasn't it?

"Ah, Princess… How nice for you to join our conversation," the Queen remarked with a laugh. "You of all people should be affected for Rudhira's death."

Endymion looked at Beryl and then at Serenity. "Rudhira? …You mean the King of Nox? What's she talking about Serenity?"

Beryl smirked evilly. "I see. So you don't know, she hasn't told you… What a shame, really. The truth comes out. Your princess has been hanging around the King of Nox; they've been spending much time together. But what the really shameful part about it is … is that she kept it from you. I mean, why would she do that if it was just spending time and talking?"

Serenity narrowed her eyebrows. "Beryl… You stop now. By my word, you will stop."

"…Why, I believe it's a shame because they've been doing _more_ than just talking." Beryl laughed wickedly and walked over to Endymion, who was still holding onto Serenity; but his grip was loosening as she tried to hold onto him. "Princess… What a pitiful thing to do, against your mother's will."

"Tell me…" Endymion said, looking at her. "Tell me, it's not true…"

"It's…Endymion, please," Serenity said with a tear falling down her cheek. "It's…"

"True," Beryl finished. "Your princess has been lying to you, all along."

At that moment, Endymion let Serenity go and pulled away, his cape falling at his side. Instead of directing his anger at Serenity, he raised his sword and pointed it at the evil queen. "You evil witch, you'll pay for this!"

Serenity didn't understand why he was attacking her; could it be that he didn't believe her? She stood there, helpless as the two squared off. Beryl gathered an orb of energy and cast it at Endymion, but he deflected it with his sword—and it was then that he started to come at her. Serenity crossed her arms, the cold of the night rushing to her arms. "Stop!" she called out, almost in a whisper.

It was then that Endymion sliced the Queen in the arm, but she instantly recovered. "Nice try," she said with a laugh. "But that simply won't do." She made the wound heal in an instant. "Best give up now, really, before you hurt yourself, Prince."

Endymion kept attacking. Serenity watched from the side, until she heard a loud scream. "Told you to stop," she said with a angered voice. "But you would not listen."

From a distance, Serenity saw Endymion wounded as he knelt on the ground. She ran to his side, immediately, and held onto him. "Endymion… Are you alright?"

"Of course he isn't. He's dying," the Queen said. "He will die. And so will you."

"B-..Beryl. I won't let you destroy…this kingdom," Endymion said. Serenity clung to his side. Surprisingly, he held onto her back.

"Your love… It's disgusting to me," she said as she gathered another orb of energy in her hands. "I'll finish you two off now: say goodbye."

"Our love only sickens you because you have never opened your heart to something like that," Serenity said, holding onto Endymion tightly. "We love each other, even though we have flaws. And that's what love is all about, Beryl. Something you could never accomplish."

"You will die, _now_!" Beryl said, as she sent the orb of energy at them. It enveloped them, and sent them flying up in the air—Serenity was sent spiraling in the air, as Endymion flew in the opposite direction. Serenity reached for his hand, and he took it before they both died. "Foolish humans… Always getting in my way."

It was then that Queen Serenity felt pain in her heart. This connection was something only mothers had with their daughters, and she knew that Serenity had died. She turned to Luna and Artemis, her royal guardians from the plaque of stone she was laying on and cringed. "Luna… Artemis… My daughter…is dead." She closed her eyes in pain, before she looked down at her hands. "I must save them, before it's too late…"

In an instant, a crescent wand appeared in her hands. "With this…they'll be able to live another life, in peace. …Until the Dark Kingdom attacks again. They will do as they can." The Silver Crystal appeared on the top of the wand before she closed her eyes.

"But your highness… You'll die if you use the last of your power," Luna said, turning to Artemis. "You can't…"

"I must, for my … Serenity, and her prince… they had such a difficult relationship. I must save them," she raised her arm and closed her eyes. "Cosmic Moon Power!" it was then that a light enveloped the kingdom—the darkness fading away. And so, the princess and her court were taken into the future, to live a happier life. The Queen Serenity died shortly, her body resting on the plaque for her eternal slumber.

- - -


	2. First GlanceTraining

The second chapter to "She is My Light." A tidbit about my story is, the title comes from the Greek mythology of Selene - her name meaning "light" with the Greek word 'selas.' Cool, ne? Also, I have to add the almighty disclaimer so no one yells at me.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Sailormoon, in any way shape or form. If I did, I would not be writing this - it would be on TV! There...now that that's over with...

READ!

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Chapter One  
"First Glance/Training" 

The kingdom was peaceful, on this particular day. Serenity, the young princess was playing in the gardens while she waited for her mother to stop conversing with the king of a foreign planet, named Nox—she believed. The princess had been lonely, and there had been no one to play with since the Senshi had been busy today; and Serenity had been especially bored today, as a young child would be.

It was then that she saw someone unfamiliar in the gardens, and ducked behind a bush as the young boy seemed taller than her and the fact that he seemed angry and annoyed. She let out a giggle, and he turned in the bushes to face her with a glare. He was in no mood for games, and the princess had revealed her presence—causing him to be fierce with anger, if she was the game playing type.

He pointed his wooden sword at the princess, slicing a white rose on the bush and it falling to pieces at the pavement. Serenity cringed and looked down, as she felt fear overtake her. "I…I am sorry! I didn't mean to laugh! Please…do not hurt me," she pleaded.

The boy looked her over, with a startled expression. This princess was different from the rest—she wasn't up for playing games, nor was she the type to be uncouth. He smiled at her and lowered his wooden sword, putting it in his sheath. "I won't hurt you," he said gently, as he stood there in front of you. "I'll protect you—how does that sound?"

Serenity looked at him and slowly nodded, her fear relinquishing as she moved out of the bushes and stood out in front of him. As he examined her, he was in awe by her beauty—she was a fair princess, alright, and she was only seven-and-a-half years old from research done of the Moon Kingdom. He, himself, was twelve, but sometimes he could act like less, to be honest.

"I'm sorry, where are my manners? I'm Serenity, the princess. But just call me Serenity, okay?" She would bow slowly, and smile at him.

"I'm…Rudhira," he said with a smile, as she had showed him her smile—it would be an understatement that the smile had made his stomach sink; it had done so much more… Could it be infatuation? "Do you want to sit in the shade?" he asked her, his smile fading. If she agreed, he would pursue his emotions with her, for he had never felt anything like this in his life…and he wanted to feel more of it. Especially with her.

"Sure," she smiled at him. "Let's go." She took hold of his hand, pulling him down the gardens and onto the grassy area, near the cherry blossom tree. As she pulled him, he felt his insides tighten as her touch collided with his. He had never been in contact with a member of the opposite sex, so this was quite an experience for him. "I'm so glad I met you," she said, as she sat down, taking her with him. He sat beside her, holding her hand gently. "It's so boring in this kingdom without anyone to talk to."

"My father is talking to your mother, the Queen. We came a long ways just to make a peace treaty for the universe and for our planet," he said as he turned to face her. "It's annoying, and stupid. I hate going to planets with my father. There is nothing for me to do but wander around."

"My mother is probably laughing a lot when she talks to your father," Serenity said with a desperate sigh. "She wants me to know everything about the Silver Crystal, and being a queen, but I am not ready for that."

"I see," Rudhira said, as he looked at her. Man, she was beautiful. And her personality wasn't half bad, either. She seemed to have her own way of looking at things, and she didn't let anyone else tie her down to do what they wanted her to do. If he could choose a girl to settle down with, it would be someone like her. "Can I ask you a question, Serenity?"

Serenity looked at him and nodded. "Sure…"

"If I was to say to you that I'd protect you, would you want me to return here?"

Serenity looked down as her hand was still tight around his, his eyes focused on him. If she answered the way he had hoped… Well, who was he fooling? She was a princess, dignified. Her heart probably didn't feel the things he felt for her, even this early on. "I'd have to say that I'd be very happy. I want you to come back, and I want to know more about you, Rudhira…"

His heart almost leap at these words; her reply, astounding him beyond relief. She wanted to see him again! It meant something to him that she could not comprehend. His touch of her hand within his reach, he held it sweetly and looked at her, as she locked eyes with him. "You make me happy, Serenity," he said, leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek, as he missed her lips on purpose—he had a reason why he did, since if his father caught him kissing a girl, he would certainly punish him beyond words.

He had blushed as she neared his cheek and kissed him back. "You're awesome, Rudhira. I wish I knew you before…"

Awesome? Hell yeah, he was. For a twelve-year-old, he sure knew how to work his magic on women at this young age.

"Can I ask you a question, Serenity?" Rudhira said as he pulled away from her cheek, when he noticed her cheeks were bright pink, even more so than his were. She made him as red as a tomato, and he liked it. "Why are there no men on your planet?! Where are they?"

"I don't know," she said with a sigh. "You're the only boy around here that I've seen, and my father died before I was born, so I figured that they all disappeared. I don't know. My mother says it's a lot better here without them. She says men are nothing but trouble… Do you know why she says that?" she asked with a tilt of her head.

He smirked a little. "My dad says women who think men are nothing but trouble are lesbians," he responded, as his blush grew redder. He didn't know quite what a "lesbian" was, but hey! She had kissed him back! And that meant everything to him.

"I wish you'd be able to stay," she said with a smile that was forlorn. "We need more people like you on my planet."

"H-hey! I'm coming back, okay? And I'll protect you! And I'll have shiny armor and a cape, and I'll promise to return, just for you, okay? So don't be sad, Serenity—I'll be here for you!" He said with a wink and a smile that seemed to overpower his red cheeks.

"Alright," she said with a smile. She tightened her grip on his hand and leaned forward to hug him.

And so, it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Rudhira left for Nox the next day, to train. He told Serenity that he would train as hard as he could just to be strong enough for her—and so, she had agreed that she would wait for him.

As time passed, Serenity found herself waiting longer than she expected. And with time, she would see that this wait would be the change of her life—not only with the meeting of him, but the feelings she would soon discover that she felt for Rudhira…

- - -

He would feel the blade hit his, and he would take a step back, knowing that he was weak already. The battle had been hard for him, and he didn't know how much more he could take. Sweat ran down his cheek as he stumbled, his body giving out. They had been sparring for nearly two hours, and he felt like he was losing in everything. He was supposed to be winning against the trainer, and he was supposed to be toughening up for Serenity—but to avail, he was tired. They had been doing this for a month now, and Rudhira felt like he was losing his body's strength. Even though, from day to day, he had lasted longer. While he was tired, he tried to focus on Serenity and how she allowed him to believe in himself like no other and he immediately took down his opponent in one fell swing—amazing himself.

"Well done, Rudhira," his trainer, Ryo would say. "Now all you need to do is practice honing that skill and you'll be up in rank in no time." A pat was given on Rudhira's shoulder before Ryo left, leaving Rudhira in silence.

Rudhira looked down at his sword and smiled. If being stronger meant being one step closer to protecting Serenity then he didn't mind the pain and frustration that came with it. In fact, he wanted to feel that feeling more, because it made his heart race knowing that he could protect Serenity—keeping his promise with her. He left the room and went into the throne room, heading towards the stairs. As he headed upward, he thought of Serenity, that day that he had left her. Their meeting had been brief, since he had come back solely to tell her good-bye. Along with leaving her, she had given him a photograph of herself for him to look at, and a letter she had written. He had kept both on his bedside table, always, so that he could remember her for who she was: His princess.

The picture had shown her in her best light—a princess of noble stature, but a young girl full of heart and her smile as beautiful as the moon itself. He had held the picture many times in its frame against his heart, embracing it when he felt alone and scared for his future. She was always there now, and he appreciated Serenity's kind token of her kindness for him.

The letter was a deep and short note that she had written, acknowledging him in a way that seemed to be ethereal. She had written it in a hurry, he could tell, because the scribbles had shown that she had tried to rephrase several words before settling on the perfect one. He remembered the letter, from beginning to end, without having to read it at all. It was the best gift anyone had ever given him, and he always wanted it to stay that way, because Serenity was his heart.

_Rudhira,_

_I wish you could stay. So many times I have hoped that you could be here with me, but your duty is to your training and I understand that. Please understand that I am simply a princess, misunderstanding a lot of things. My duty is to my people, as yours is as well—which is why I respect your reason for leaving. I wish you have a safe journey home, and to always remember that I will be waiting for you, no matter what. Our friendship will never die, and my happiness when I think of you will never fade._

_Attached is a photo of me, to remember me, even when you are afraid. Believe in yourself, and no matter what—always believe in hope, even when hope seems lost. You can do it! I believe in you._

–_Serenity_

When he had first read her letter, he must have read it a thousand times. Each time he had tried to depict her expression while writing it, or the tone in her voice if she had spoken it, or the fact that each word had allowed him to feel deeper emotions for her than anyone could have made him feel. Sometimes, he felt a tear roll down his cheek, but he knew that his tears were not a sign of weakness—but a sign of devotion for her. He loved her, he knew this much for sure. He had discovered it as soon as he returned home, on his planet of Nox—his father had allowed him to go to his room after dinner, and it was then that he thought of Serenity, her smile radiating through his mind. His heart had raced, and he had imagined that day that they met; the unexpected look in his eye after she had kissed him. It had all been too real, too perfect… But yet, it had happened. It was then he realized his love for her, and how his heart had been full of feelings for her he had never felt for another. And he was glad for that, because he only wanted to feel it for her. Serenity was solely his heart, and nothing could change that.

He made a solemn vow to himself right then that he would never let anyone stand in the way of their love—and if they did, he would make it a personal goal to make them suffer. No one could ever understand, and no one ever would. But he knew that Serenity was his lifeline, and he didn't anything less from his princess….

- - -


	3. Passion of the Twilight

Okay, chapter two! Possibly a little longer than it should be. ...Oh well! Read on!

I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON!

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Chapter Two  
"Passion of the Twilight"

_Seventeen years later…_

Her hair was silken against the gown that she wore. A lighter shade of white now that she was older, it held her body snugly in contour with her now grown-up shape. Her long hair fell farther now, secured in the same traditional odango buns as before, but the hair fell below her kneecaps in a flurry of tendrils that were pure blonde. Her eyes now shone with a look of maturity, as her facial expression was that of a cheerful expression. She had much to be happy about, and one of them was her secret love for someone who would be returning shortly.

Rudhira.

It had been a long time, but it had been worth it. The look on her face didn't quite compare when her mother had told her that the acclaimed "Nox" would be returning, now known as a King on his planet, she had smiled for hours knowing that she would see him again.

And today was the day.

She had made sure that her hair was combed, and her dress was free of any wrinkles so that she could look beautiful for him. She had smiled in the mirror, her expression delightful to her own tastes. Her dress was ethereal, its color transparent to the mirror while she had spun around in a desperate attempt to feel princess-like—but to no avail, she was more than a princess to Rudhira: she was his first love, and his best friend. And hopefully, they could continue to be friends now that he had returned. Now that she was able to see him again.

He had walked down the courtyard in an attempt to clear his head. Knowing that the princess would be around here, he knew that she would most likely not recognize him in his armor, nor would he seem to be as youthful as before—his face much more grown up, and his body muscular than when he was twelve. But one thing remained the same during his change from boy to adult: His love for Serenity.

It had not changed at all, nor would it ever. His love for her would always be true, simply because of the reason that he existed—she was his breath, the air to his lungs, and without her, he could not survive. And somehow, he didn't want to live without her, knowing that she was simply nothing more to him than a breath of air—she was much more than that… And he didn't want to live without her.

"Princess… Have you missed me while I have been away?" He asked to himself. He had known of her escapades with the Prince of Earth, Endymion, and he had also known that the Queen had been involved in it. How he cursed the Prince, knowing that he could never reach Serenity in a way that he had seen visions of. He knew what she looked like, and he had seen her and him together—hearing about it from the local castle knights, their gossip filling his ears like honey to a bee; only it had stung his heart with every drop of its fated sweetness. His desire for her grew, though, and he could not imagine not fighting for what he believed in. He loved her, and thus, he would not give up. Life meant more to him now that she had entered his life, and he didn't wish to simply back down because some Prince of the Earth wanted to take a shot on his _princess_—his childhood lover.

No, he would not back down. And he would refuse to give up that easily. His training had taught him to never look back, and he refused to step down from the woman that he loved with all of his heart.

- - -

She had wandered out of her room, heading down the stairs in a fluttered mess. Her body was tired at the same time, as she was worried about seeing Rudhira. As she exited the castle, she went out onto the courtyard and saw that fated tree that they had talked to when they first met—and someone was underneath it, their armor shining in the resilient light.

Her heart sank as she neared it, seeing the face of a most handsome man who seemed to be upset and distressed. Was it him? …Could it really be him? He looked up as she neared him, his facial expression staying the same.

Would she recognize him, if he simply kept his expression normal? Or would she notice him right away? He had to know…

"H-..hello," she would say with a gentle voice, looking at him with a blank expression.

"Hello," he would say, returning her advances. He would try not to stare at her too much, since he might frighten her if she didn't recognize him.

"I waited for you…for a long time," she said, holding onto her crescent locket. "I…missed you."

Now he knew: she _did_ recognize him. He smiled gently and held out his hand, patting the spot under the tree beside him. "Would you care to sit with me?" he asked, trying to remain a gentleman for her.

She would smile, and then sit beside him, her distance to him as close as before—her scent filling his nose, knowing that she had grown-up; her body more womanlike and her voice more mature. She was seventeen now, a princess about to be queen in another year—and for the first time in forever, he had smiled. Truly smiled. Because of her.

"It would be an understatement to say that I missed you, too, Serenity," he said with a smile. "But…I cannot say anything like that to you, for I am just your knight now. Your protector. I protect you, and I shall return your friendship and be there for you if you need me." There. He had said it. As much as it had hurt him, he had said it.

Her heart sank a little, knowing that he didn't possibly feel the same. "…I…see," she said, looking down at her lap. "So I suspect you've heard of my arranged marriage to the Prince of the Earth, then?" she asked, twisting the fabric of her dress in one hand nervously.

She was wise. He had been wrong in thinking she wouldn't catch on, or even know that he knew beforehand. "I have heard, and I am happy…for you," he said, smiling in her direction as he gazed down at his armor, its reflection glaring at him. His expression looked pained, even if he tried to make it happy, he had failed.

"Thank you," she said with a feigned smile, a façade put on for him to hide her true feelings. "But…I am not as happy as you are about it. My mother is forcing me to keep the treaty of peace going—it's nothing but a rouse to make me queen."

He didn't look in her direction when she said this, only because if he did, he would probably have said something else—something a lot more sweeter than he was supposed to. But to no avail, he simply wished for her to be happy, and yet, she wasn't. Far from it, if he knew her like he did. But he couldn't let that get him down. He rose, and stood, looking at her. "Well, I have matters to attend to. The Queen has wished to see me, and your audience. Shall we?"

Serenity rose, despondently, unsure of what awaited her. "…Alright."

Little did she know of the pain that would be waiting for her when she got there.

- - -

_Why is this happening to me?_ Serenity thought, as she slammed the door to her room, nearly knocking down a photograph on the wall as she threw herself onto the bed and sobbed on her pillow. Her mother had deceived her, causing her to be the martyr of her own life—her love for Rudhira would never be now, because she had done something terrible.

"She's…killed his father, his planet…is…" she looked down to see Luna, one of the cat guardian advisors looking up at her. "Oh, Luna, I am such a fool…"

"I'm sorry, princess," Luna would offer, climbing onto the bed and sitting. "I knew about this, and I warned the Queen that it would be a mistake. But to no avail, she went ahead and did it because she knew that you two were perfect for each other. True love, she said. And a princess like you…must marry the betrothed—not true love."

Serenity sobbed again, her pillow stained with tears. "I hate her!"

"Please don't say that, and please don't cry, princess—it'll be alright." Serenity shook her head at these words.

"No, Luna. It won't be alright. I am heartbroken at my mother's actions; all along, she was deceiving me—building me up like a tower and then sending me to plummet to the ground in a thousand pieces. I am nothing now but ash, dust…" she would turn to Luna, her expression fading. "…And I will never forgive her!"

- - -

_I am such a fool, _Rudhira thought as he walked down the gardens and saw nothing but that fated tree. _Curse it all… I am to live forever in sin for her mother's actions._ He kicked a nearby bush, knowing that he was far more pissed off than anything right now. He was simply… Well, there were simply no words for it, were they? In a matter of minutes he had been berated in front of his assumed "princess," and then, she had knelt down and apologized to him asking for her own forgiveness for her mother's actions. Only then would she storm out after glaring at her mother, heading to the main wing of the castle to do god knows what in her room. He knew, though, that she was crying. And yet, somehow he felt anger at both of them.

She had been a pawn all along. A simple piece of equipment to lure in the Prince of the Earth, and now, it was doomed for the both of them. He would have to stand to the side and watch the princess and her _prince_ make merry, while he had to mourn deeply inside for his loss of her. It was all too much to bear… He wished that he could go back, to anytime before this, and forget everything he knew about the Moon Kingdom. As much as it hurt him to think so, he wanted to cut himself away from all emotions for her. For Serenity.

"A pawn… I was a pawn, too." He knelt down in front of the cherry blossom tree that they first met at and held his sword tightly in his hands, its tip pressed into the dirt. "I … I hate myself for this. Serenity."

Yes, it was all too much to bear. He knew that he would not be able to find true happiness without Serenity's love shining down on him like a beacon of light—but yet, he _would_ have to move on, simply for her sake. She had not known of this plan of the Queen's, and he would not punish her for it. She deserved better than that, and if he could not at least give her happiness then how did that prove that he loved her? It was a self-actualization, at its best. "To be happy for her… I will be happy for her, if she is simply happy."

Yet he knew she wasn't, but soon, she would be. The Prince of the Earth could provide her with much more than he could; a shelter, security for the rest of her life, and a home. Something that he lacked now that he had his duties residing in the castle here. Being a knight was something he couldn't back down from, and even though his title was "king" he had to still show obedience for the Queen's rules here.

He rose, as he sheathed his sword and looked around. The Senshi were nowhere to be found, and he was alone for once in his life. Everything seemed so dark, no light to fill his heart with hope or warm it like a flame. She was his light—his hope—and without her he would have nothing. She could no longer reach him, nor fill his heart with the warmth of her smile, or that fated kiss that they had yet to have. Oh, how many times he had dreamt of it! As real as can be, they had kissed, their lips touching gently and his touch holding her close, his cape wrapped around her. She would shiver, but he would hold her closer and kiss her forehead after pulling away. It had been a dream that recurred for weeks, and then, he would dream of something new. His dreams had _always_ revolved around Serenity, and they were as real as can be; as tangible to the touch, but intangible when he awoke to find that he was still in his bed, waking from a dream with darkness all around him. He would then roll out of bed, and hold his head, unsure of the pain that would await him if he could not make that dream real—if he could never hold Serenity as if he dreamt he could. He had missed her countless nights, knowing that everyday his training took him one step closer to her, his _princess_.

Once he reached the age of seventeen, he had realized that he was stronger than five years ago. He would then realize that Serenity was only twelve then, still a child and yet, not. Her maturity had been quite impressive when her had met her, and he knew that even though there was an age difference it didn't matter. He would always love Serenity, even if she was younger than him. Even if it meant loving her despite her youth, he would.

At the age of twenty-two, he found his youth gone and his now rugged appearance sometimes frightening while looking in the mirror at his reflection. He was unsure who the person was, nor what their purpose was in life. He knew the purpose was Serenity, but he had always wondered if he had never met her what his true purpose would be then. Now, his purpose in life was only half of Serenity—protecting her was the only thing he could do, since she had been stolen away from him beneath his guard.

"Curse it all," he said, while entering the castle and heading to his quarters through the stairs. "If protecting her means hurting this much… then I will have to keep my distance from her." He would then climb the many stairs before he made his way to his room. As he looked at his bed, he felt pain in his heart knowing that the princess was probably sleeping in her own bed, tearstains on her face. He wished he could brush them away, causing them to be dispersed by his hand alone. There was so much he desired to feel with Serenity, and his heart could not take it at times. He loved her, but watching her be in love with another man—namely the Prince of the Earth—caused him to feel blatant jealousy mixed with hatred for his life.

Where was she? Sleeping, he knew. What was she dreaming of? Him? Maybe a sweet serenade of wishes and dreams that only he could feel—his heart quickening at the notion that she could be dreaming of him. "Perhaps…I am in her heart in many ways." He would glance out the window to the blackened starry sky. "…Or maybe…not."

At that, he would turn to the bed and remove his armor, taking off his helmet and placing it on the table. He would then be in his long black pants and shirt before he climbed into bed, silencing his thoughts and preparing for his dreams that lead him to Serenity.

- - -

In dreams, only Serenity could see the feelings that Rudhira would acknowledge. His warm touch against her face, he would kiss her lips deeply, his hands moving through her tamed hair free of the buns and he felt its silky texture in his hands. Her lips brushed against his, their tastes mixing as he would pull her closer, his legs leaning against the bottom of the bed. Finally, he would turn her around, his body leaning onto the bed as he fell on top of her, her body colliding with his as they tastes fueled another in his lips. She would pull away, her gaze distant from Rudhira. He would take notice and hold her cheek with his hand.

"Love, are you afraid?" he asked, kissing her hand gently.

"Just a little… I mean… I trust you, completely…but…"

"You don't have to do this, darling. I already know your worth of how much you love me."

Serenity would turn away. "I…I want to. I love you so much. Beyond words."

He would nod slowly. "But, you're afraid."

"I'm afraid of how perfect it'll be," she said, looking at him. Her eyes were reflecting in his, his gaze able to be seen through her oceanic hues.

He kissed her at that moment, their tastes meeting again; his hand around her head, holding her gently. He pulled away, but for a moment, to whisper in her ear. "I love you."

"I love you…" she said, holding him close.

He pulled away and looked into her eyes. She took his hands and placed them on her side. "Make us one, Rudhira… Make me yours…"

He kissed her at that moment—his touch around her hips, their passion igniting in one second; his kiss sweet and bittersweet when he pulled away to kiss her neck, suckling on her neck as he would graze her ear, the sound of her earrings making a clank. "I love you, Serenity… My princess…"

- - -

He awoke at that moment, shaken by the dream. When he looked around, he realized it was morning. "Damn," he said to himself. As he looked around, he felt sweat on his body, his heart racing. Another untamed surprise awaited him as he got up. "Shit," he said, as he realized part of himself was there that was not supposed to be. A knock on his door caused him to be even more panicked.

"Be right there!" he said, in a fluttered motion as he began to try to calm his own self. "Think…think… Think of something bad." Thoughts filled his head, and all of them seemed to reflect on Serenity.

"Rudhira, are you there?" a female voice would ask. Instantly, he knew that voice. No, she couldn't be here. Not in his room! "It's me, Serenity…"

_Shitshitshit_… "I'm…here," he said, stumbling to put on his socks. "Hold on…" He ran to the bathroom and examined himself, his hair a mess. He ran his hands through it, combing it and fixing it; he shook it a little, and it fell past his cheeks, his bangs falling in a swept motion past his chin. "Okay, now that that's done…" He walked out and noticed that the "problem" was gone. Good, he thought.

He walked to the door and opened it, clearing his throat. As he opened it and glanced at the princess, his eyes were awestruck by her appearance. My, god, she looked absolutely angelic today; her dress with a white cape at the back of it, its silky texture flowing down past her legs. "Hi," she said with a smile. "I just, wanted to see if you were alright. I left you in a hurry yesterday."

He swallowed hard. _Think_, he urged himself_. Don't let her stun you._ But it was so hard to resist her, for she was irresistibly beautiful and amazing to the eye. "Oh," he said, as he backed into the room a little more. "I'm fine, really."

"I see," she said, as she noticed his nonchalance. "Are you alright, though? You seem a little…detained."

He smiled. "Oh, that. Well, I just woke up. I was trying to make my presence notable for you so that I didn't look like a wreck." He added a nod for more effect. _Right… And the fact that I had another detainment that would disgrace you much, princess…_

"I apologize," she said immediately. "I didn't mean to rush you. By all means, if you need more time to make yourself presentable, then I will leave you." She began to turn away.

"No, wait," he said, as she turned back. He looked at her with a gentle expression. He didn't want her to go. It would be heartbreaking if she left him. "Please. I'm presentable." She would turn to face him completely, staring at him with her blue eyes. "…Would you mind going for a walk?" he asked, surprising himself.

She would stare at him, as if unsure, but then she smiled. "I would like that very much."

He smiled. "Well, then," he said, taking her arm and hooking his through it. "Let's go then, shall we?"

They began to walk down the stairs, his touch feeling her skin. It was almost too good to be true that she was allowing him to do this with her. "So," she said with a smile, her gaze focused on the ground as they walked out of the castle. "You sleep well?"

His breath caught before he nodded. "Oh, yeah. I guess… You?"

She smiled. "A little. I had a troubling dream."

He swallowed hard. "Oh?"

"Yeah," she said, giggling to herself. "Don't worry about it. It was confusing."

They would enter the gardens, the castle courtyard lightened by the sun's light. She began to take the lead as she walked towards the cherry blossom tree. "Just like old times, isn't it?" she remarked as they stopped. She pulled her arm out of his, which made his heart sink.

"Yes," he said, glancing at her. "Very."

She would smile, before she took a seat on the ground below the sakura tree. "Well… I came to see you for another reason, too. So…"

He sat down beside her. "Oh?" he asked, looking at her. "And what reason is that?"

She would look down at her dress, its fabric surrounding her as she fingered a piece of the grass entwining it in her index finger. "It's sort of, personal. I thought what I have to say to you should be kept between us, and no one else."

"I understand."

"I have…been keeping a dark secret for a long time. When you left for Nox, I found myself torn. Shattered. I longed for you to return, and when you would, we would spend an eternity together. I felt emotions for you that I've never felt for another… And I realized on my twelfth birthday that what I felt for you was love."

He would look at her with a distant stare. Was she really saying what he thought she was saying? Did she totally feel the same for him?

"I…I love you, Rudhira. I know you may not feel the same, but…I feel as if I can tell you anything, and I'm hoping you won't hate me for this." She would smile at him gently, before taking his hand into hers.

He swallowed, feeling the pain. He could never love her—his life was dedicated to protecting her solely, now that she was betrothed to the Prince of the Earth. Their love could never be, as perfect as it would be, they could never love another… And that truth caused his heart to throb in pain.

"Serenity, I'm sorry," he said, slipping his hand out of hers. "But we can't do this. Granted, I feel the same for you, but you must marry the Prince of the Earth—he's your destiny, not me. I can only protect you, and be your knight."

She felt her hand hit the grass in a painful ache of her heart. She turned away, her tears forming in her eyes. She was broken, defeated… her heart aching in a way she never thought she'd feel from him. "I…I see," she said, as she looked at the grass. "That was foolish of me, then. I apologize to you." She rose from her seat and stood, her cape blowing in the wind as she kept her gaze away from him. "I must go. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

He looked up at her, and wanted to stop her. By all of the power in him, he wanted to prove her wrong. He wanted to tell her that she wasn't a "fool," nor was she wrong in doing anything. That she hadn't wasted him time at all, for he had all the tme in the world for her. Any time at all. He wanted to say to her how he felt, his words endless in comparison to how he made her feel. She was his sun, the light in his world—but no, he couldn't. She began to walk away, in a flustered hurry, her heart obviously broken. And all he could do was curse himself. "Damn it all."

Why did things have to be so painful? So cursed? He loved her, and that much of a right was taken away from him the moment the Queen had decided that he wasn't worthy enough to love the princess. "Damn it all to hell!" he said, kicking the trees bark and causing several cherry blossom petals to scour in a flurry around him. His anger was not towards the princess, but towards Fate—for it was unkind and cruel to him, his heart pounding as he began to walk towards the castle, knowing that today he would ignore his duties and lock himself in his room to reflect on how pained he was.

- - -


End file.
